Consider this the scratchpad of a simple man who aspires to live a meaningful life and to be of some use to others. To maybe even inspire and influence people to consider what's possible by achievement, faith, and by the life of a regular guy who happens to take some risks.
Here at this website, Exavius.com, you'll come upon numerous wilderness adventures and stories that might come of use to you, but they're mostly for me, family and friends. A sort of reference and a scratchpad to look back on as life happens.
So, if you're inclined to come back and join in by comments or posts, please do that. You're invited.
As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
Ps.103:15-17
And today was another especially productive day. Much more than usual in fact. Especially later in the evening while on my knees doing dirt work around the home. There is something about digging and getting through to the deeper soft dirt that gets you feeling connected to earth. And that short time brought sweat and strain. It brought a sense of healing as if it were an apology for being away too often. I wanted to stay longer and it was certain that I just don’t love people enough.
On a schedule, I got cleaned up and set out to my music area to learn this as a chorus and rhythm. Made it through where the resonance and music off these walls got the better of me.
‘Alive’. Atrium.
Then to cycle through scales, modes and key transitions, this was queued up and played through over and again.
Miri comes to my music area and brings with her plain white paper sheets with color markers.
There I was strumming away too loud again having just finished the next session among several. I look over where she’s sitting and she’s holding up the paper with a score of 9 on it. Laughing, I’m thinking she’s way too generous. The third practice session in, it’s a score of 7 she holds up without saying a word and I’m thinking ‘Harsh!’ So I’m guessing that means the more I play the worse it gets. And I’m okay with that, but it’s fun.
Here’s the next recording of the same track. Rhythm and solo with better timing and control. These sessions are played in drop-d tuning with 4-tracks of recording. Here is a PDF of the sheet music of the song: Break
This is the next pass at ‘Break’ with it cleaned up a lot. It isn’t polished with a few notes off, but it is far better than a few days ago. It certainly passes muster for live playing.
Small confession. For the last several months I’ve been steeped in some of Skrillex and DeadMau5. For the post modern composition and expression. Here’s an example why.
Here is a semi-impromptu mash-up ‘practice’ jam. Without really knowing a shred of the song, went head to see if I could get the feel of it and improvise. Picked up the guitar, launched Cubase, set a few levels and then it was, ready set go.
No stop, start, stop, start but to see what happens. So this is what playing and learning self-taught music feels and sounds like.
Take 1 – Just a play through with not carrying one wit about accuracy. Just feel and wing it. To see if it sticks. Tempo pushed too much. Scrubbed & deleted.
Break. Three Days Grace.
Take 2 – Zero sense of the solo notes and timing/sync way off. Scrubbed & deleted.
Yesterday spent some time slogging through an attempt at recording the next song I thought I’d try out. But it wasn’t meant to be. All attempts at playing and recording just wasn’t a viable proposition with 5-hours of sleep.
Ah, but today, more reckless and inappropriate, thought I would pick up my instrument, press play, hit record and export the mix to post. So, all in all the software is getting easier to use and I’m becoming less self-conscious about being recorded. All in good fun.
Wonder what’s next.
Here’s the recorded audio (Quicktime Plug-In Needed).
Still working my way through not.a.fan both in written text and by audio at 1.25x speed. It’s easy reading and well written but the message has such weight it’s going to take a couple-few passes. Skip forward, rewind rewind. Shuttle back. Repeat. Pause, turn it up, play again.
There are unexpected tests in that little black book that have me carefully going through it slowly.
Fan or Follower?
The tests:
(1.) For what do you sacrifice your money?
“For where your money is, there your heart will be also.”
(2.) When you’re hurt, where do you go for comfort?
“So when is the last time you experienced some of the pain and suffering of this life? A job was lost, a relationship ended, the test results weren’t what you hoped. When you experienced the pain, where did you turn? The answer to that question reveals your heart’s true devotion.”
(3.) What disappoints or frustrates the most?
“When we feel overwhelmed with disappointment it often reveals something that has become too important.” “…if you find that you are excessively disappointed or over-frustrated it’s an indication of what might be competing for affection that is to be Christ’s alone.”
(4.) What is it that really gets you excited?
“Like the things that disappoints us, the things that excite us can also point to something or someone that is in competition to Jesus. Could it be sports, decorating, music, work, or your appearance? All these things are fine and good, but they have the potential to become the type of mistress that is robbing God of your whole heart.”
This is application territory to do something lasting or permanent about it.
An Excerpt.
“These religious types were the fans that Jesus seems to have the most trouble with. Fans who will walk into a restaurant and bow their heads to pray before a meal just in case someone is watching. Fans who won’t go to R-rated movies at the theater, but have a number of them saved on their DVR at home. Fans who may feed the hungry and help the needy, and then they make sure they work it into every conversation for the next two weeks. Fans who make sure people see them put in their offering at church, but they haven’t considered reaching out to their neighbor who lost a job and can’t pay the bills. Fans who like seeing other people fail because in their minds it makes them look better. Fans whose primary concern in raising their children is what other people think. Fans who are reading this and assuming I’m describing someone else. Fans who have worn the mask for so long they have fooled even themselves.”
Today was especially productive with the Sequoia Mountain Rescue site. I’ve pushed around billions of pixels on this workstation today. Only saw three system crashes merely from moving too fast and with all the somersaults.
White knuckled it all the way through to get the thing on its feet and going. Pushed it to completion in terms of structure, layout, format, menus, domain, platform compatibility, bug resolution and all that. Didn’t come up for air the whole way and feat accomplished. Next up is incremental content, content, and more content.
Well, these iPhone days are officially over. For some little while now it has been completely useless because the entire front screen was completely shattered. So to reconstitute some semblance of an attempt to get back on the grid, I’ve moved from iOS to Android. With the full leap to the Galaxy Note.
The first installation was my book reader and Audible application. With ‘not a fan’ promptly installed. Thereafter, the ESV.org app, Harvest app, WordPress, plus a bunch of finance applications. The migration continues and shall continue until saturation. I’m being very careful with the social applications because of how invasive they are. There’s a lot going on within the code about ‘permissions’ and one has to be careful about what is and isn’t enabled. There should always be a distant separation between personal life and professional life.
This is a hybrid phone and tablet. Probably the best personal palm size computer in use today at least from a technology perspective.
Explore the Noteworthy Project to learn more: http://noteworthyproject.com. iPhone has served me well for years and for that I’m grateful. However, this change is well suited for bloggers, Kindle readers, and folks who are driven to remain productive and get the most of their time.
With a wild hair and little time, I’ve endeavored to set up this Cubase 6.5 DAW installation with a short recording. What fell out the other end is this MP3 audio file that is sure to bring future embarrassment.
This guitar work is my spontaneous and improvised playing, so there are lots of mistakes, plus level and tonality problems. The signal processing is wrong, too. The point is to get familiar with the recording software and the numerous settings to bring this all together. It’s especially useful to hear where there are necessary improvements. I have very little sense of what I’m doing, but it feels good.
This is obviously going to be somewhat painful with the errors, but need the marker to see progress happen over time. It took about 15 minutes to get the recording together with about 15 minutes in all to learn the song. Yeah, this is a ham-fisted hack job, but the point is made to explore the possibilities. To see where it goes.
Productive and well organized day. Mostly because time segments are set aside before hand to know how tasks line up. This is typical about what my daily planner looks like, but the actual tasks can vary.
- Devotion time with Daily Bread 15min
- Reading (not a fan) & Prayer; 25% through. 15min
- Called Mom to check on her surgery recovery 30min
- Shoveling & Yard Dirtwork 30min
- Down Time at the Jericho Site 15min
- Cardio w/ Pack 30min
- Guitar Practice 30min
- Family Time 30min
- Extra Sleep Time 30min
- Weekend Planning, Mountains 15min
- Admin Work (mail, email, budget) 10min
- This journal entry 10min
And it still feels like I’m not getting the best return on available time. Several tasks were not checked off only to spill over to the next day. They don’t come off the list until completed while daily disciplines remain intact. I’m not rushed, progress just doesn’t feel efficient enough.
“These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Matt 15:8
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Ps. 51:17
The chorus changes are Eb, B, F# and Bb. The intro and bridge with B, Ab, and Eb. Second chorus with a subtle D. All mostly barre chords with rhythms of beauty and expression. Standard tuning.
This took me a few times to play through and get this down with sheet music. Eyeing the chord charts in tempo while the melody reaches through.
It helps with the years of strife and playing that sometimes all converge into one within a single piece of work. And the content brings out the freedom and urgency to feel and share in what is happening. It’s not about the technique, but instead what the composition does within the heart that makes the player’s session. After a while you have to forget about placement, tonal position, and movement and just let it go by what you feel and hear.
My Heart Is Broken
I will wander ’til the end of time, torn away from you.
I pulled away to face the pain.
I close my eyes and drift away.
Over the fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul.
And I will wander ’til the end of time
Torn away from you.
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow’s hold
(Over my heart).
I can’t go on living this way
But I can’t go back the way I ame
Chained to this fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul
And I will wander ’til the end of time
Half alive without you
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us
Change – open your eyes to the light
I denied it all so long, oh so long
Say goodbye, goodbye
My heart is broken
Release me, I can’t hold on
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow’s hold
A couple of days ago I had an opportunity to lead prayer in public with a group of people. In a restaurant where others nearby understood what was said.
That in full view of others in that setting, there were the softly spoken words in acknowledgement and honor of our Lord. The prayer was simply for thanks and honor with a hope and faith of having been heard. Not long after, his words came to mind. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. –Prov. 19:21 ” I’m grateful for that.
In the front seat of my Jeep I usually carry my ESV so that it’s just within reach and that by it being nearby it’s just a comfort. And so while out and about I’ve come to see that it’s getting noticed and it’s bringing out questions. Surprising and simple observations that have me wondering why I’m not seeing more of this kind of activity among others of faith within the church.
Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
Rom. 13:7
From well over 10 years of wilderness exploration, there’s been this connection to John Muir’s observations that dwell within. There’s simplicity, peace and beauty that can get easily removed or forgotten by the struggles of every day life.
There’s something about holding to what you have very loosely. There’s a freedom in that I think. Not that I don’t care, but that I’m not trapped within by expectations that carry no weight or life-value. I have no debt except the house and an ability to carry on without ‘work’ for several months. This brings with it a freedom to take each day a little easier. Ready to drop everything without burden, pursue new opportunity and find the next change. And to never look back. To work because I want to and to explore because that’s where spiritually I’m closest to our heavenly father.
Where there is no honor due, earned or merited, well then maybe it’s to love and encourage. There just isn’t much influence otherwise.
Got Cubase 6.5 installed, configured and operable today. That plus a Focusrite interface set me back a bit, but it’s all good. Installed the obligatory VST rig modules and still haven’t installed everything (Halion sets). There’s just too much to build this canvas much less to attempt anything below the surface in a single day. This is a pro DAW workshop application. Generally, what Photoshop is to photography is what Cubase is to music.
Went through several of the mind numbing and necessary tutorials to get oriented. I’ll have to go through them a number of times along with other supplemental modules.
Doc took me off the bp med run quite some while ago and I’ve been working on cardio quite a bit for the wilderness season ahead. This year is also development with shooting proficiency in addition to yet more exploration here in the Western Sierra. It has been a light Winter behind us and Spring conditions are emerging early it appears.
The last time I fired a military grade firearm was many years ago while in the Air Force. Here’s status with shooting development ahead.
(a.) Scouting for local Airsoft courses and simulation rifles.
(b.) ID’d simulation systems and learned a few competition scenarios.
(c.) BCM is taking orders again. There is a very high demand among many brands in recent months. Having to find a local FFL to support a transfer. Made phone calls and ruled out a couple long term dealers due to their limited understanding of Carbine rifle types.
(d.) Study study study about safety, use, application and rifle builds.
(e.) Funds fully ready to go.
(f.) Ordered instructional aides for newcomers. Here’s the latest video workshop I’m going through for early dry fire practice.
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